Self care is something that people talk about all the time. People talk about it at work, amongst friends, on nearly every single blog, and pretty much all other forms of media. Everyone talks about what self care is, why it is important, the various products you use and how you should practice self care. It is important to remember that self care looks different for every single person, and often, it can look different for the same person on different days. More than that we need to remember that self care isn’t selfish. There is a reason airlines require that you put your oxygen mask on before you help others. You have to take care of yourself so that you CAN help others. Otherwise no one will survive.
At 34, self care looks a lot different than it did when I was 25. In fact, self care is a bit more like being an adult most days. Sometimes it merely involves completing both my morning and evening routines or taking my medicine and vitamins. Other days it involves meditation, moving my body and going to therapy. Recently, it often involves trying to be more fiscally responsible like paying my bills, budgeting, and saving money.
Self care does not have to be indulgent–a facemask, manicure and a bubble bath. However, sometimes doing those things is an act of self care. Personally, those moments when I get to tell my body that it deserves a bit of pampering are important. It signals something in my brain that I care about all parts of myself. It gives me a chance to show this body that has been through an awful lot the past few years how much I love it.
I think of the indulgences as the bonuses or the extra credit that I do on top of my everyday self care. My everyday self care is boring. It’s the basic skincare, taking my medicine, drinking enough water, journaling and using my CPAP—the bare minimum for me to continue to function. But those items are extremely important for me. They keep me from getting sick, they keep my anxiety in check, and support a full night’s sleep.
Basically, self care is taking care of myself and frankly that can be very boring. I had a day the other week where I focused on self-care. I took a long walk in the morning, did my morning skincare routine, cleaned my house, picked up prescriptions, prepped lunch, dinner, and my outfit for the next day, drank a ton of water, journaled and cuddled with the dog. The indulgence I gave myself was a long shower with a face mask and climbing into bed early with a mug of sleepy time tea and a book.
I once saw a post by Hitha Palepu, in it, she described a menu of self care, and I thought it was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. It is a chance to reduce decision fatigue but also take care of yourself in those small ways. This is not a replacement for those longer overarching acts of self care: regular medical check ups, fiscal responsibility, etc. However when you need to mix and match to have a nice evening, I think this is perfect.
Appetizers (hobbies)
- Do a puzzle
- Do a Curious Correspondence Club mystery
- Create a music playlist
- Make a cup of hot cocoa
Entree (things for my physical/mental health)
- Take a walk
- Go to Pilates
- Make a cup of tea and read a book
- Cook a new meal with a glass of wine (strong nancy myers energy)
Dessert (indulgences)
- Light a candle, add some eucalyptus to the shower, deep condition, and do a face mask
- Get a pedicure
- Put on a record and dance
